REHAB FOR MILLENIALS! YELLOWBRICK IS A $28k A MONTH REHAB CENTER FOR MILLENIALS, TEACHING THEM HOW TO GROW UP…LIBERAL SNOWFLAKES WILL NEVER GROW UP!
Millenials, America’s most fragile generation, are about to be rescued from their snowflake disability thanks to a $28k a month rehab center called Yellowbrick. Their failure to grow up has become an expensive disability their desperate parents are willing to send them to a rehab for growing up. Unfortunately, four out of every five patients who seek treatment at Yellowbrick also relapse.
According to Fusion:
- Yellowbrick, a program that costs around $27,500 a month and is aimed at people roughly between the ages of 18 and 30, some of whom suffer from a Problem only recently attributed to American youth: the failure to launch from childhood onto the shores of something recognizably, functionally adult.
- facility dedicated to addressing the various demons that prevent “emerging adults” from growing up, they call this the Narrative.
- And once discharged from Yellowbrick, according to one former patient, you may listen to a robotic recording of your Narrative, transcribed into a computer program in the third person, with heart-rate monitors affixed to your body
- As many as 80% of people who take a stab at rehab will relapse
Well now an Illinois rehab center is charging the parents tens of thousands of dollars a month to teach their pampered millennials how to finally grow up
For $28,000 a month, privileged 20-somethings who have failed to reach their ‘true potential’, will get basic life skills in scheduling, cleaning and even ‘showing up’, according to Fusion
Therapy and group sessions are supplements by treatments such as art classes, yoga and meditation